Making Changes Read online

  That was until my phone rang. Quickly I picked it up off the bed and looked at the caller ID. Robert. Suddenly the cheesecake and scotch in my stomach seemed like the wrong idea.

  No. I wouldn’t back down.

  I could do this. I could talk to him.

  Shakily, I answered, “Hello?”

  “I thought you loved me,” were Robert’s first words.

  “I did.” I think. Sighing, I shook my head at the lie because I was worried about his feelings. I didn’t love my husband. It only occurred to me a few days earlier when I questioned my love for him and realized it was gone.

  “Can’t you see how this has hurt me? My wife decides it’s time to find herself when I never thought she’d lost herself.”

  “Too many times I’ve been hurt—”

  “How? I’m not some drunk who spends all his time at a bar and then comes home to beat you. I’ve given you everything, and this is what you choose to do.”

  “All you see in me are bad things, things you think need fixing. I’ve changed so much for you, and it will never be enough.”

  “Why haven’t you said anything earlier?”

  Tears welled, and I let out a frustrated breath. “I’ve tried.”

  “No, you haven’t, or else I would have fixed things, and you would be home where you belong right now.” He sounded annoyed, like all of it was an unnecessary bother. It hurt, but it also pissed me off.

  Shoulders sagging, I dropped to my knees to the floor and leaned my upper body onto the bed. “I have tried, Robert. You don’t like to listen,” I told him.

  “You probably didn’t try hard enough. You know how busy I’ve been with work. How stressed I can get, and all I want to do is come home to eat a nice healthy meal and rest. But when I get home the house is usually messy, yet I don’t say anything.” I clenched my teeth together. It was the same old rant, yet the house, to me, was always clean. God fucking forbid there was a dust bunny under the stupid heavy couch I couldn’t pick up. “Then you’ve cooked something that we really shouldn’t eat most nights, and still I don’t say anything.” I snorted. The ass did say something, and even if it was the healthiest meal, it wasn’t good enough. Robert ignored me and went on. “I’ve asked you to entice me more in the bedroom, and you don’t listen to that either. You forget to do the banking and again, do I say anything about it? No.” He sighed. “Maybe a break is good about now. I have to head out of town for two weeks anyway. I’ll put some money into your account to stay wherever you’re staying, and when I get back, we’ll talk then. At home, where you belong.”

  I never got to reply. He ended the call, which was always Robert’s way. He wanted the last word and liked the conversation to go his way. I didn’t get to tell him about the job, about how I didn’t want his money. I knew he called for a time away because he thought I wouldn’t be able to cope without him.

  He was being an asshat. I had tried on many occasions to talk to him, to tell him how I felt. He never listened, and even if he had, he would turn it all around to make everything my fault.

  Not this time.

  Guilt would not play a part in my decision. I was doing the right thing for my sake. Absently, I wiped away the tears that had fallen, drew in a deep breath, and stood from the floor.

  Nothing would change if I went back there. Robert would still be the same, and I’d still be thinking day in and day out that all the problems we had were my fault.

  If I just changed.

  If I cleaned better.

  If I did everything he wanted just to make him happy, then we would be happy.

  Marriage shouldn’t be like that.

  It was a partnership, two people working out their problems together. Not one blaming the other or one causing the other to think she was to blame for everything that went wrong.

  When Robert realized I was serious about the fact I was leaving him—no, that I had left him—then it would be time to pull my shoulders back, tug up my pants, and throw my big girl balls over my shoulder and stay strong. Backing down was no longer an option.

  Sitting on the bed, I ate another few bites of the cheesecake, took a large gulp of scotch, and then I ran myself a nice hot bath. With bubbles and all.

  It wasn’t until later, when I lay in bed and my mind ran a mile a minute, that I let myself cry. I allowed myself to feel like a failure because no matter what I did, I couldn’t get my marriage to work. I tried everything, changed who I was, yet nothing worked.

  Six years was a long time to walk away from.

  Still, it was time to end six years of self-doubting and hating.

  So even through the tears, the heartache, I knew I would never go back. I couldn’t. It was time to find the person I was again.

  Chapter Three

  I WAS A BUNDLE OF NERVES. My hands shook on the steering wheel while my stomach did the mamba. I was seriously worried the dancing would continue right out of my butt. Not only was it my first job in four years, but Mr. Jackson sounded like a mean boss, so I had a feeling there was a high chance I was going to screw up on the first day and get fired. After all, I did have a knack for blurting out the wrong things from time to time.

  I guessed only time would tell.

  For my first free weekend, I spent it pampering myself and cherishing the thought of how proud I was of myself. It was a big step leaving a marriage, especially one that left my emotions bruised and battered. But it would be worth it.

  I also tried to ignore the nights where I’d spent the time a blubbering mess, drinking straight from the wine bottle while eating my way through the menu and watching romantic comedies.

  It was a new day. A fresh start. And all I could do was hope I still had a job by the end of the day. I had also packed my bags and checked out of the hotel to move into Mr. Jackson’s house.

  If Robert knew, he would be beside himself.

  “Doesn’t matter what Robert thinks anymore, Makenzie. I am my own woman. I can do what I like. I can even perv at a man without feeling guilty and… why God? Why would you make that fine man gay?” I asked to the sky as I came to a stop in front of the underground gates where Dylan stood smiling as he waited for me. He wore another perfect suit on his perfect physique with his perfect hair styled. He pushed his sunglasses to his head and approached the car. Once he had the passenger door opened, he climbed in and said, “Morning, honey. You ready for your first day?”

  God. He even smelled like heaven.

  “Y-yes. I think. Maybe. Can I say no and not have you think any less of me?”

  He threw his head back and roared with laughter. “You’re too cute.” He smiled over at me. “Anyway, I thought I had better meet you out here because you don’t have a remote for the underground parking.”

  “So, this building is just his business, right?”

  Dylan shook his head as he pressed a button on a handheld device. The gates opened with a clicking sound. “His business is actually on the bottom levels. His apartment is the top level, where there are six bedrooms, three on each side of the building. Three living areas, four bathrooms and a kitchen behind the main living area. Then just under his apartment floor is the gym and swimming pool. Under that are guest rooms, and then the rest is all business, business, business.” He gestured with his chin to look toward the building. I looked out and then up and up again. The place was huge, and soon I would be working and living in it.

  It had to be one of the tallest and widest buildings I had ever seen. To each side held other businesses, only they were nothing in height or width.

  “Wait,” I whispered, leaning forward to look up once again. “Do I have to clean any of it?” Because honestly, if I were some sort of house cleaner, I would reverse on out of there. I’d struggled to clean Robert’s and my home.

  Dylan snorted. “No. He has housekeepers who do that. Now, are you actually going to drive in?”

  I bit my bottom lip and nodded, then shook my head. “I’m not sure if I should. The place looks very int
imidating.”

  “Kenzie, I believe you’ll be just fine here, and anyway, I’ve got your butt.” He threw his hand out toward the place. “Sally forth, good lady.”

  “Don’t you mean back?” I asked.

  “Huh?”

  “You’ll have my back, not butt.”

  He chuckled. “That’s what I meant.”

  Sighing, I nodded, tucked my black hair behind my ear, and gently eased my foot off the brake.

  “Why are you driving like a granny?” Dylan asked.

  “I’m scared the place will revolt and figure out I’m a clumsy, weird woman who doesn’t belong here and kick me out.” Beside the fact underground parking kind of freaked me out. Though, I wasn’t letting Dylan know that. I had a feeling if I did, he would need to test out just how frightened I was.

  “You’re too funny. Hurry up, I need to tell… sorry, I, ah, told Gray to be expecting his new assistant this morning, and the way you’re driving, we may not get there by dinner.”

  Rolling my eyes, I pressed harder and went faster down into a dark, dingy area. A light flickered to my left. I thinned my lips and bit them between my teeth.

  “So, um, where should I park?” I asked. Only Dylan didn’t answer. I turned to him and screamed when I found his face only inches from mine. He shifted back and burst out laughing. His hand went over his stomach as his laughter kept going.

  Smacking his arm, I snapped, “You should not scare a person who could easily have driven us into a pole or something.”

  “I couldn’t resist,” he panted. “Oh, God. You just made my morning.” He pointed his hand to the right. “Park over there. You’ll see a reserved sign for Assistant.”

  Grumbling under my breath, I moved the car to the right and down the row until I came to the free spot, which indeed did have a sign saying Assistant. Pulling in, I undid my seat belt and slowly turned to Dylan, only to flush when I saw he was gazing up and down my body. “Did you just check me out?”

  He smiled. “I could have.”

  “But, why?” I asked, aghast. “You’re gay,” I pointed out.

  He blinked slowly. “Right, ah… I was just making sure you’re wearing the right clothes to impress my brother.”

  Tilting my head to the side, I wasn’t sure I believed him. Still, I asked, “Am I?”

  He shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not sure anything will impress him.”

  Crossing my arms over my chest, I leaned into my seat and pouted. “If you keep scaring me, I won’t even get out of the car.”

  Shaking his head, he smiled, then winked. “Let’s do this.” He got out of the car and came around my side, opening my door. “If I promise not to scare you for the rest of the day, will you get out?”

  Tapping my chin with my finger, I pretended to think about it. “Maybe.”

  He sighed, only he was smirking when he did so. “Come on, cute stuff.” Reaching in, he grabbed my arm and tugged. Climbing out, I straightened my pencil skirt and white blouse and then placed my handbag on my shoulder. “I’ll send someone down for your bags,” Dylan said as he took my keys and then hand before we started for the elevator. Thankfully, it was close to my parking spot.

  “But I may need my keys for a quick escape,” I mentioned.

  He snorted. “I’ll get someone to drop them off to you when they’re done.”

  “Maybe they shouldn’t grab my bags in case I don’t even last the day.”

  He pressed the button to the elevator and turned to me. “Enough self-doubt.” He didn’t understand how hard it was for me to stop. I had been with a man for six years who offered daily taunts freely, which caused most of my self-doubt. “You will still be here by the end of the day, and you will not take any of Grayson’s crap. I think that’s been one of the biggest issues he has. Either his assistants want to sleep with him, date him, marry him for his money, or they run screaming when he applies a little pressure with a loud voice.” The elevator dinged and we stepped in. We both turned to face the doors, and Dylan pressed the fortieth floor while I clenched his hand tighter in mine. He cleared his throat. “Stand up for yourself, and he’ll respect that.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.” He nodded and then smirked. “By the way, you may not want to go into the underground parking lot alone. It’s haunted.”

  “Dylan.” I clipped my warning.

  “Joking. Last one for the day. Honestly, the whole building is the safest in this area. It’s manned twenty-four hours a day with security and cameras. Nothing to worry about down there.”

  Drawing in a deep breath through my nose, I nodded and then unlatched my trembling hand from his to wipe it on my skirt.

  “Scared?” Dylan asked.

  “No. Yes. Well, more nervous actually. First job in a long time, remember.”

  The elevator suddenly stopped. I looked at the screen, and it said Ground Floor. The doors swished open, and behind them I saw a gorgeous woman. Her long, straight blonde hair was over one shoulder and just about came down to her hip. She wore a short black dress that hung off one shoulder and stunning black heels.

  As soon as her eyes saw Dylan, she rolled them and stepped in, turning her back to us. I glanced up at Dylan to see him glaring daggers at her back. He looked down to me and shook his head. The rest of the ride up was quiet and awkward. I couldn’t help but fidget as my stomach rolled and rolled on the inside. The closer we got to our destination, the worse I felt. I shifted from one foot to another, clasped my hands in front of me, only to change my mind and move them around to my back. I adjusted my bag on my shoulder and shrugged a few times. I twisted and turned, then bit my bottom lip.

  Finally we arrived, and as soon as the doors opened, I heard Dylan’s sigh of relief as well. Once the woman before us stepped off, Dylan took my arm and led me slowly behind her. He leaned in and whispered, “I have never seen anyone so restless before. Try to stand still in front of my brother.”

  “I will.” I nodded. “So, who was the stunning woman?”

  He scoffed. “An up and coming model, at least trying to be, and the most recent flavor of the month for my brother.” He crinkled his nose up at her back. While he led me forward, I took a chance to look around the area I would be working. The place was packed with people at desks or running around doing whatever they had to do. I wondered what the other floors were like, and why Mr. Jackson needed such a large building for his producing business. Soon enough I would find out.

  When Dylan came to a stop so did I because his hand was still holding my arm. He looked down at me. “You wait here for a second. I’ll tear Gray away from harpy lady.”

  When I nodded, he walked the few steps to the closed office door and entered without knocking, closing it behind him. Seconds later, voices rose behind that door, and I winced. Suddenly, the door was swung open. I jumped, and my hand went over my heart.

  Dylan stepped out first with a frown on his face. He came to my side, and then I looked back to the door to see the woman step out. She shifted to the side of it with a smirk on her red lips. My body stilled when the last person stepped out. My boss.

  He was tall, taller than his brother; he was also wider. His large shoulders had to turn sideways to make it all the way out. Then his body tapered off to thinner hips. Just from a first glance, I knew he worked out a lot. I brought my eyes up because I didn’t want anyone to think I was checking him out when I wasn’t, not really. I had to know what I was up against and the giant man already intimidated me.

  His dark-brown hair, dark eyes, and chiseled cheekbones, complete with a five o’clock shadow matched his whole broody look. When I saw his hard, narrowed gaze on me, I stiffened, yet I then found myself straightening, jutting my chin out and up.

  “Grayson, this is Makenzie Mayfair. Your new assistant.”

  “At least he picked an ugly and fat one,” the harpy beside Mr. Jackson whispered. Of course it was loud enough for all of us to hear.

  My boss narrowed his gaze even more do
wn at his woman, and Dylan coughed out, “Bitch,” behind his fist.

  Ignoring her, and instead of giving her the finger like I wished to do, I held out my hand to my boss and said, “Nice to meet you, Mr. Jackson. If you could tell me what you want me to start with, I’ll get on it.”

  Slowly, he looked down to my hand and then up again. “Answer the phones for now, take messages. I’ll deal with you later.” His voice was deep, rough, and would have driven any woman crazy with need from it.

  But I was immune.

  I was immune to his looks, his face, and his attitude. Everything. I had one thing to do, and that was my job. I’d ignore anything else that could occur. Dylan was right; his brother was cold and intimidating, or had I been the one to say that? I didn’t know. I didn’t care. The job would look great on my resume so I would stick it out for a year tops.

  After he spoke, he spun back around without the courtesy of shaking my hand and entered his office with the harpy, closing the door behind them. I swung my gaze to Dylan and gave him wide eyes.

  He smirked. “Yeah, I kind of forgot to tell him I found a new assistant and sometimes he can be an ass.”

  “Dylan,” I whispered harshly through clenched teeth. His brother certainly was a rude ass to not shake my hand. God, I didn’t have frigging cooties or anything.

  He scratched his chin and looked away from me. Obviously he was about to fib. “I was sure I did tell him. Anyway, you’re here now, and he didn’t tell you to get lost. So sit on down at that desk and impress the douche.”

  I glared at him for a few more moments before harrumphing, punching him in the arm, which he rubbed after, and then I walked around the desk to sit down.

  “Well, I’m off—”

  “No!” I yelled and started to stand. Dylan was at my side ushering me back into my seat. “You will not leave me until I know what I’m doing.”

  “Grayson will show you. For now, do as he’s asked. I’m sure you can’t fuck up answering phones.”

  “Well, no.”

  “Great. I’ll be back to have lunch with you. Good luck.” He kissed my cheek and bolted for the elevator.